How Sex Drive Changes Through the Years

 How Sex Drive Changes Through the Years

 What Is Sex Drive?

It seems like a simple question, but scientists still can’t agree on exactly what makes up sex drive or how to measure it in men or women. While hormones play a role, it’s not always clear how much of a difference they make. But other factors -- psychological, social, and physical -- also work together to create your libido.

What Is Sex Drive?

                                                                  

 Men: Your 20s

Testosterone, a hormone men need for sexual arousal, is typically high in your 20s, and so is your sex drive. But it’s also a time when you could be anxious about sex because of inexperience. That might be part of why 8%, and possibly more, of men in their 20s report erectile dysfunction (ED). The condition can happen because of a medical or mental health issue or even be a sign that you’re at risk for heart disease. Talk to your doctor about your symptoms.

 Men: Your 20s

 Women: Your 20s

You’re likely to be more fertile from your teens to late 20s than you are in the years that follow. This may make you choosier about if and when you have sex, though it’s not clear exactly why. In fact, scientists think that female desire might go up just as fertility starts to decline toward the end of your 20s.

Women: Your 20s

 Men: 30s and Early 40s

Many men continue to have a strong sex drive through these years, though testosterone starts to slowly decrease around age 35. It typically goes down by about 1% per year, but it could be faster for some men. This could have some effect on your sex drive. Plus, for many men, the stress of work, family, and other commitments can affect how interested you are in sex.

Men: 30s and Early 40s

 Women: 30s and Early 40s

This time of life may be when your sex drive is strongest. One study showed that women between 27 and 45 had more frequent and more intense sexual fantasies than younger or older women. They also had more sex and were more likely to have it sooner in a relationship.

Women: 30s and Early 40s

Women: Having Kids

At any age, pregnancy and childbirth have a big impact on your sex life, but it’s different for everyone. Your body and hormones change throughout pregnancy. That may mean a boost in libido at times, especially during the second trimester, and a lack of desire at others.You also may be anxious about whether it’s safe to have sex while you’re pregnant. (It usually is, but ask your doctor if you’re unsure.) Breastfeeding, raising kids, and other work can also affect the time, energy, and interest you have in sex. 

Women: Having Kids

Men: 50s and Beyond

If you’re in good physical and mental health, there’s no reason you shouldn’t continue to enjoy your sex life as you get older. ED does become more common as you age. Your erections may happen less often and may be less firm. But it’s not age itself that causes the problem as much as health problems that become more common with age, like heart disease, diabetes, high cholesterol, and obesity, and the drugs that treat them.  Your doctor can talk to you about your options for treating ED.

Men: 50s and Beyond

Women: 50s and Beyond

Around age 50, an “empty nest” or less worry about getting pregnant might make some women more interested in sex.  But as you head toward menopause, estrogen levels drop, which might cool your libido down a bit and lead to vaginal dryness. Hot flashes, anxiety, weight gain, and sleep problems also can make you less in the mood. Ask your doctor about medicines, hormones, lubrication, and other treatment. 

Women: 50s and Beyond

 Men: It’s Not Just Testosterone

You need some testosterone to get aroused, but it’s not clear how much. It may vary from person to person. And though it’s true your levels decline with age, scientists don’t know exactly how this affects sex drive. Some men with “low” testosterone show normal sex drive, while others with high levels have sexual problems. Other medical issues, physical fitness, and mental health could be more important factors.

 Men: It’s Not Just Testosterone

Your Doctor Can Help

Talk to your doctor about any issues with your sex drive, as they could be a sign of a medical condition. If your physical response is the problem, your doctor may prescribe hormones that can increase overall sex drive (estrogen for women, testosterone for men), or drugs that boost sexual arousal: sildenafil (Viagra) and tadalafil (Cialis) for men, and bremelanotide (Vyleesi) andflibanserin (Addyi) for women.

Your Doctor Can Help

Talk About It

Ask your partner about their needs and desires, and talk about yours, too. Don’t be afraid to try new things as your bodies evolve and your stage of life changes. This can help keep you and your partner engaged and interested in sex. Be honest about your physical and emotional satisfaction. It might even be a good idea to set aside certain times to be intimate.

Talk About It

 Things You Should (and Shouldn't) Do After Sex

Wash Up

You don’t have to hop out of bed and into the shower right away. But gently cleaning yourself after sex can protect men and women from infections, like of the urinary tract (UTIs). Wash the area around (not inside) your genitals with plain warm water. You can try mild soaps, but if you have sensitive skin or you already have an infection, they might dry out or irritate the area. Men with foreskin should gently pull it back and wash underneath.   

Wash Up

 Don’t Douche

Some women think they need to clean inside their vagina after sex with water or prepackaged fluids. But douching can lead to more infections. That’s because it upsets the natural balance of bacteria that protect your vagina. The best way to take care of your vagina after sex is to leave it alone -- it cleans itself naturally. Also, keep in mind that a mild smell is normal and may not be a sign of a problem.

Don’t Douche

 Keep Clean-up Simple

Along with douches, drug stores offer lots of wipes, creams, and sprays that claim to help you “freshen up” your personal areas. Some of them are made with harsh soaps, detergents, shampoos, perfumes, or lotions that can make your skin break out. Just stick to a gentle rinse with warm water after sex. And avoid scented tampons, pads, powders, and sprays, especially if you tend to get infections.

 Keep Clean-up Simple

 Empty Your Bladder

During sex, bacteria can get into your urethra, the tube that carries urine out of your body. That can raise your chances of an infection. When you pee, you flush those germs out. So enjoy some cuddle time with your partner, then head to the bathroom. If you're a woman, when you wipe, do it from front to back to stop the spread of bacteria.

Empty Your Bladder

 Drink a Glass of Water

Since it’s a good idea to pee after a roll in the hay, don’t forget to drink water. When you stay hydrated, you’ll pee more, which means that more bacteria will wash out of your body before infections can flare up.

Drink a Glass of Water

Wear Loose-Fitting Clothing

Hot, sweaty places are the perfect spots for bacteria and yeast to thrive. So wear underwear and clothes that let air in. Women should avoid pantyhose, girdles, and panties that are too tight. Cotton undies work well for men and women -- they’re breathable and absorb moisture. Or skip underwear altogether when you go to bed.

Wear Loose-Fitting Clothing

 Wash Your Hands

It’s the best way to get rid of bacteria you might pick up from touching your or your partner’s genitals. That’s key to stop infections from spreading. Wash with soap and water, and make it part of your post-sex clean-up routine.

Wash Your Hands after sex

 Clean Your Sex Toys

After you’re done with them, bacteria, viruses, and fungi can hang around. That means your toys could spread STDs and other infections. Clean each toy after every use -- check the packaging for cleaning instructions. It’s better not to share toys with others -- that can send germs back and forth. If you do plan to share, try to cover the toy with a new condom each time you use it.

Clean Your Sex Toys

Take Care of Any Yeast Infections

Partners can pass these back and forth during sex. (Yes, guys get yeast infections, too.) So if you notice the symptoms -- itching, burning, or a thick, white discharge from the vagina or penis -- treat it before the next time you get busy. Talk to your doctor if you think you have one.

Take Care of Any Yeast Infections

Think About Getting Tested

If you’re sexually active, especially if you’ve been with a new partner, it’s a good idea to get tested for STDs. Most of the time, these infections have no symptoms, so testing is the only way to know for sure if you have one. You can also watch for symptoms, like discharge, pain, blisters, sores, spots, or lumps around your genitals.

Think About Getting Tested

 Pregnant? Take Extra Care

Sex is usually safe during pregnancy, but you are more likely to get infections like UTIs during this time. So it’s even more important to take care of the basics after sex -- pee afterward, wash around your vagina, and drink water. Encourage your partner to do the same.

Pregnant? Take Extra Care

Health Conditions That Can Harm Your Sex Life

Stay Connected

Stay Connected 

Being intimate with your partner is one of life’s greatest pleasures. But a long-term health problem can take the joy out of sex. You may not want to have it, can’t get aroused enough, or have trouble reaching orgasm. Knowing what the problem is could be the first step to finding solutions.

Diabetes

Diabetes 

High blood sugar damages blood vessels and nerves over time. This can hinder blood flow to your sex organs. Men can have erection and ejaculation problems. Women may have loss of desire, vaginal dryness, painful intercourse, and orgasm troubles. If you control your diabetes, stay active, and eat right, it can help keep sexual and other problems at bay. If they keep happening, tell your doctor about it.

Heart Disease

 Heart Disease 

As with diabetes, the problem is blood vessel damage that can lead to sexual problems. And some meds, such as those for high blood pressure, can cause issues as well. Lifestyle changes -- your diet and fitness, especially -- can make a big difference. If you’ve had a heart attack and worry that sex could trigger another one, ask your doctor about when you can be sexually active again.

Depression

Depression 

Your mind and body go hand in hand. One of the symptoms of depression can be a drop in your sex drive. Tell your doctor or a therapist if you’ve been feeling down for a while. Treatment -- which may include talking with a counselor, making lifestyle changes, and medicine -- can help. Some antidepressants can dim desire and lead to erection problems in men. Lowering the dose or switching meds may help.

Cancer

Cancer 

Sex may be the last thing on your mind when you have cancer. But when you are ready to be intimate, the disease and some of the treatments can make that harder to do. Chemo may make you too tired or sick for sex. You might have pain from the cancer. Hormone therapies may affect your sex drive. And some surgeries may affect your body image. Connect in other ways until you’re ready for sex.

Chronic Pain

Chronic Pain
It’s hard to think about sex, let alone do it, if you have pain that won’t quit. If your medications don’t control your pain well, your doctor may need to change the dose or switch meds. Or the medicine may be the problem. Some pain meds have sexual side effects because they affect your nervous system. Either way, talk to your doctor.

Arthritis

Arthritis

Sore joints and other arthritis symptoms can cramp your sex life. But you can still be intimate and comfortable if you think ahead:

Plan sex for the time of the day when you normally feel your best.

Take your pain medicine at least 30 minutes beforehand.

Support your joints with pillows or rolled sheets.

Use massage to soothe sore muscles and joints and as foreplay.

Nap before sex if tiredness is a problem.

Low Testosterone (Low T)

Low Testosterone (Low T)
Men who don’t make enough of the male hormone testosterone may find that their sex drive is stuck in neutral. Sometimes, it’s due to a problem in brain areas that tell the testes to make testosterone. Type 2 diabetes and liver or kidney disease also make it more likely. Your doctor may give you a blood test to check for these. Lifestyle changes and taking care of any other conditions you have can help. Some men may need testosterone replacement.

Menopause

Menopause
Natural menopause, the time in a woman’s life is when estrogen levels drop and periods have stopped, isn't a medical condition. But falling estrogen can cause vaginal drying and thinning. That can make sex hurt. Vaginal moisturizers and lubricants can help. Low-dose estrogen you put inside your vagina reverses dryness and thinning. If you have bad hot flashes too, hormone replacement therapy may be an option. Talk with your doctor about the pros and cons.

HIV and AIDS

HIV and AIDS
HIV affects your body’s ability to make hormones. This includes testosterone and estrogen, which can lead to problems with sex and desire.  Medications that keep the virus in check can hamper your sex life, too. Protease inhibitors are linked to erectile dysfunction in men. Your doctor may suggest counseling or other treatments.

Multiple Sclerosis (MS)

Multiple Sclerosis (MS)
MS affects your nervous system. Sexual desire begins in the brain.  It sends messages to the rest of your body via nerves that run down the spinal cord. If MS damages these paths, it can affect movement, arousal, and orgasm. It also can make you tired and give you muscle spasms. But there may be treatments that can help, so tell your doctor what’s going on.

Parkinson’s Disease

Parkinson’s Disease
Because it affects movement, Parkinson’s can make sex tough. It can also bring lack of desire, pain, and orgasm problems. Some of the treatments can cause the opposite problem. Meds that raise levels of a brain chemical called dopamine can make it harder to control your impulses, which for some people can cause problems including sex addiction. Your doctor may need to adjust your dose.

Loss of Bladder Control

Loss of Bladder Control

This is more common in seniors, especially women. Extra pressure on your belly during sex may make you leak urine. You may avoid intimacy. Try changing positions and going to the bathroom before sex.  Talk to your doctor, as treatment usually can help.

Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD)

Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD)
If you have Crohn’s disease or colitis, the digestive symptoms (such as needing to go to the bathroom a lot), pain, and fatigue can all get in the way of sex. It’s important to take your medicines as directed, even when your symptoms aren’t bad, so that you can continue to feel your best. Some people need intestinal surgery to make a way for their stool to collect in a bag worn outside of the body. Support groups or therapy can help you adjust to these changes.

PTSD (Posttraumatic Stress Disorder)

PTSD (Posttraumatic Stress Disorder)

PTSD can happen if you’ve had or seen a scary event like an assault, a bad car wreck, or combat. Symptoms include flashbacks, which feel like you’re reliving the trauma. If you have PTSD, you may feel fear instead of pleasure. A mental health expert with experience in PTSD can help. Talk therapy and medications may treat it successfully.

                                          BESYT REGARD BY DR.H₂O

Habits That Can Hurt Your Sex Life...

         Habits That Can Hurt Your Sex Life       

You Binge on Bad Foods

You Binge on Bad Foods

If you’re a junk-food junkie, you’re filling your body with lots of refined carbs, simple sugars, and saturated and trans fat. This can slow your blood flow and affect how well you can perform during sex. Cut out the junk and go for plenty of fruits, veggies, and plant-based protein (nuts, beans, and tofu). Bonus: A healthy eating plan will give you more energy for sex.

You Eat Too Much Salt 

You Eat Too Much Salt 

When salty foods are a regular part of your diet, you’re more likely to have high blood pressure, which can lower your libido. Steer clear of prepackaged foods, which often have lots of sodium, and watch how much you add at the table. Instead, add flavor with herbs and spi ces.

You Stay Stressed

You Stay Stressed

Constant strain and worry wears you out -- everywhere. When you flood your body with stress hormones for a long periods of time, it hijacks your health and also tanks your desire to ha ve sex. Try to figure out what’s stressing you so you can think about the best ways to handle it. It’s also a good idea to make time for regular stress-relief -- a walk in a park, a yoga class, or laughing at your favorite comedy.

You Skip Foreplay

You Skip Foreplay

Science backs it up: Building up to sex can make it better. In one survey of almost 8,700 people, both men and women said sex lasted longer when they included more types of stimulation beforehand. The real engine revers? Oral sex and masturbation.

You’re Too Busy

You’re Too Busy

When life gets hectic, sex can sometimes be the first thing kicked off your “to-do” list. But intimacy in your relationship should be a priority. Scheduling sex may sound like a buzzkill, but it can help you make sure you don’t keep putting it off. So mark time on your calendars, and stick to it. You’ll feel more connected, which will lead to better bouts in bed.

You Stick to the Same Old, Same Old

You Stick to the Same Old, Same Old

Sometimes a stale sex spell is just a matter of being stuck in a rut. You might have a routine and not even realize it. Mix it up: try new positions or have sex in a place or at a time you don’t usually do it. Or try adding new alternatives like massage or sex toys to your routine.

You Don’t Speak Up

You Don’t Speak Up

If there’s something about your sex life that’s bothering you, or you have ideas about new things you’d like to try, talk about it. Worried about how your partner might handle the conversation? Try to frame it around your feelings and reactions, not your partner’s. It helps to start your sentences with “I” instead of “you.”

You Diss Your Body

You Diss Your Body

The messages you tell yourself -- or hear from others -- about your body make a big difference in how confident you feel. When those messages are negative, your self-image takes a hit, and so does your sex drive. If your default mode is to put yourself down, break the habit and try to focus on what you like about yourself. Take care of yourself, and spend time with people who make you feel good.

You Drink Too Much

You Drink Too Much

One glass of wine or a beer might help you relax, but a booze binge can make you crash and burn in the bedroom. Men in particular can struggle with performance issues when they have too much alcohol in their system. Keep your drinking in moderation -- no more than one drink a day for women and two for men.

You Skimp on Shut-Eye

You Skimp on Shut-Eye

If you don’t snooze, you could lose your libido. One study found that women who got more sleep tended to have more (and better) sex.

You Don’t Watch Your Waistline

You Don’t Watch Your Waistline

Is your scale showing a higher number than usual these days? Shedding a few pounds could boost your performance in the bedroom -- especially if you’re a guy. One study found that men with a waist over 40 inches were more likely to have erectile dysfunction than those with slimmer stomachs.

You Light Up

You Light Up

There’s a long list of ways smoking harms your health, and slashing sexual desire is on it.  Chemicals in tobacco can mess with blood flow, which can cause sexual problems, especially for men. Talk to your doctor about how you can kick the habit.